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How to discuss gender identity with your children at any age – Wired PR Lifestyle Story

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The experience I learned about gender identity as a child was not uncommon. Stereotypes, for example, involve boys playing with action figures and girls playing with dolls. or the boys are strong and the girls were weak from the usual feelings on the playground. Although I grew up as a girl, with my hair in my hair, my father often encouraged me not to think about gender as a limit and to do things that were not always considered “girl”. For example, taking out the trash and mowing the lawn were part of me work list“Maybe it was because I didn’t have a brother to live with.”

As I never grew up living under normative pressure, I became much older and began to understand the harmful stereotypical patterns and restrictive nature of binary until I understood the concept of gender more clearly. When I was in school age, our health classes didn’t deepen the nuances of gender identity, and the Internet was a much smaller place back then.

The ongoing conversations about gender identity and expression are, in my view, essential to the health and well-being of our children.

My parents ’generation was more conservative in discussing tough issues openly, and through no fault of their own, things were like that! As we live in the age of information, it is becoming more and more important to talk to our children about issues such as sexuality. race, puberty, drugs and gender identity. If we as parents choose not to talk about these things with our children, they will eventually find the answers themselves and may feel that they cannot ask for help from us, or worse, may think that these issues are taboo. or embarrassing and start to internalize that.

In terms of gender, children begin to learn stereotypes before saying whole sentences, so the sooner they do these discussions, the better they will be able to succeed. But where do you start? Well, based on my research and the experience of a mother of two, I have compiled a guide to help you talk about gender with your children at any age. And remember, even though it’s a great idea to start talking about gender and identity early on, the best time is at any time, so give them a little grace if they’re a little older and haven’t talked about those things yet.

user photo Taylor Jones

Children aged 0-3

At this young age, children are learning a lot about themselves and the world around them. They are learning and developing social and emotional skills, building language and vocabulary quickly, and starting to classify things and people into boxes. In fact children start sorting a gender at the age of 3 years, although a more authentic and definite sense of self will appear as they continue to learn and grow.

Children in this age group tend to communicate and explore with play, so toys are an opportunity to introduce the concept of gender, even implicitly. Consider presenting a set of toys for each genre, and be aware of the vocabulary you use to describe them, or encourage them to play with one toy and another.

Kids 4-6 years

At this age, children are particularly curious about the world around them and ask a lot of questions. They’re making observations about people they see in public and trying to make sense of them. This is a great time to get into the habit of teaching and describing gender expression that goes beyond bitarism.

You may have read a lot of books to your child over the years. It is an opportunity to present some readings that include the genre, for example Introducing Teddy, a fascinating illustrated book on gender and friendship. It feels good to be yourself it is an image book that introduces the concept of genre in a positive and sensitive way.

Kids 6-12 years

At this age, children are beginning to consume more media that are exposed to outdated notions of gender and are more likely to suffer from conflicting messages from members. They may also experience sexism on their own, with extracurricular activities available to them. When choosing schools for your children, consider whether their sports teams encourage all genders to participate.

They may also be more likely in this age group, especially as they approach adolescence, to self-identify as a particular gender and may want to express themselves externally with clothing or hairstyles. Consider giving yourself the freedom to choose the clothes that you feel most comfortable with and the hairstyle that suits you best. While the gender-neutral clothing market is expanding, many stores still separate girls and boys, which may ultimately be an opportunity to explain why and how this is changing.

Teenagers 13-18 years

This goes without saying, but connecting with teens can be especially difficult. They are struggling with hormones, being subjected to a lot of pressure at school and finding themselves in groups of friends. Since this age group is very concerned with adapting, bullying is a common problem.

So how do you get along with a teenager? Well, the best thing you can do as a parent is to keep the boundaries of your gender conversations going. Ask questions out of curiosity, or answer them with questions that help them understand where their gender statements are. To make your teen feel comfortable coming to you, remember that you will always protect and love them. It is a good idea to approach the issues patiently and carefully instead of responding with fear or embarrassment.

For parents

You want to get the knowledge and understanding you need to talk about gender, answer questions, and explain things with confidence in order to be successful. If you are a parent who is eager to start your learning journey, I highly recommend reading it. Raising Them: Our adventure in creative parenting genre it helps the reader explore deeply ingrained gender stereotypes that we don’t realize are perpetuating, and provides a way for children who question binary to grow up. It has been an invaluable resource for me genderspectrum.org, which features a ton different resources for parents.

Give your children the freedom to explore their gender identity

I recently spoke with Kate Smith Conscious Movement of Mammals on this subject, and he also had a tremendous view that I wanted to share. “Children believe that our knowledge and wisdom arrive as empty vessels to be filled,” Smith says. “I believe that children come with their desires, interests, wisdom and life goals. Our mission is to stay safe, to love and to help ourselves on the journey of self-discovery. ”

He continued: “One of the most important aspects of a child’s sense of self-confidence is having a safe relationship with those who love him. This means being able to show them when they need you. Provide comfort when they have difficulty or fall. Be consistent in your words and actions. that everyone is welcome with you. ”

If you have had gender conversations with your child and have expressed a curiosity to explore the gender spectrum, consider giving them the freedom to explore it. If your kids are experimenting with their gender identity, you can explain that gender can be a sliding scale — one day you may feel more masculine and one day more feminine, one day you won’t identify in any box — and all of that. they are fine. If they continue to be attracted to a gender that goes beyond binary or begin to develop gender dysphoria as they get older, they may need to find a mental health professional in your area who specializes in gender identity to help them.

Talking about gender with your children can be daunting if you are not equipped with the tools and resources to answer any questions they may have. One thing’s for sure, though: don’t get bored when your kids start experimenting with their gender. Here’s the thing: You don’t have to be an expert on the subject. If they have an unanswered question, they will understand if you need some time to explain it or learn more together. Children are curious and patient about these things, and like anything, these conversations are not sudden, they are constant.



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