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Dear OOO,
My company started a mentoring program in the midst of the pandemic, and I was assigned to lead a talented young colleague. I’m happy with this! But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough with him. We check in regularly and talk about a mix of specific projects he’s working on, but I don’t control his work, and we can’t get together in person, and I don’t know if he was the impact he was looking for when he signed up. How can I be a better tutor?
-New York
The good news, New York, is that just by having a tutor, your young colleague is ahead of the game. While 75 percent of professional staff crave tutoring Harvard Business Review, says only 37 percent of them they a tutor. So be aware that you are getting some difference by being present.
I will admit, however, that I have mixed feelings about the tutoring programs sponsored by the company. It’s better than nothing, of course: In many workplaces (most of the time?), They let you sink or swim on your own, with the help of an assistant boss, if you’re extra lucky. But in my experience, official mentoring programs often feel that corporate values are more than a reflection of real values. Companies often make this effort to respond to employee complaints because they don’t see a way forward — and double that for women and people of color.
But this approach is a rather square lump of round holes. The most serious problem is that real mentoring is not about helping (or at least not) promoting someone. General Management needs as much tutoring as assistants. And companies are they are especially tremendous in creating clear paths to progress, especially for people who have been forgotten for years or decades. But it fixes that it requires hard and slow work to change the company, not just giving people a few hours to match.
In fact, some research has found that women suffer too much tutoring, when they really need it sponsor—It is not someone who will give you advice, but someone who advocates for a promotion or promotion. Personally, eager to offer life lessons, whether I ask for it or not, I have met many more men for meetings who are interested in making sure I get my job or a seat at the table. This last group, however, is the one that has had the most impact on my career. In the meantime, my best tutors have always been classmates, not high schoolers, “kind of, how do you deal with this?” or who will propose to me to get my name options.
That doesn’t mean that tutoring doesn’t matter, or that you want to be a better mentor for your young colleague. But to do that, you need to be very clear about their goals. Your question determines that it is a voluntary program, so understanding what you had in mind when you signed up will be a productive relationship. If you haven’t done this before, it’s not too late – the first part of your relationship may have been getting to know each other; the second chapter may be focused on missions.
The disproportionate burden of having a fruitful relationship will inevitably lie with the mentor, not the tutor. Only he knows how you can be the most helpful, and you should ask him directly. (People are often awkwardly afraid to ask “What do you want from me?” But they manage to get OOO straight down.) Do they want a career like yours? Does a senior need to have very delicate questions to take to the boss? Or, above all, is he looking for someone to bounce ideas off?
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