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Dear OOO,
I like to work remotely, but I feel more isolated than ever. How to make friends with colleagues? My company moved to remote work during the pandemic, and no one is in a hurry to go to the office soon. That means I still go home from work, but when friends leave and new people start dating, how can I reach out to them, or be next to my current work friends?
“Evelyn.”
You might think that the biggest difficulty in starting a job — or even keeping up with the job — is working effectively with colleagues from a distance when you’re working remotely in a global pandemic from meeting rooms and leading brainstorming sessions. admit it, no one really likes it. But what I miss the most is the unofficial communication: the smiles and handles of my fellow members; people passing by my desk to say “hi”; and that sense of camaraderie that is worth at least part of the commute. You seem to have lost that too.
The repair is pretty simple. Well, it’s easy for me to write, it’s not necessarily easy to put into practice. I started a job (which I now have, actually here at WIRED) during the pandemic, and the first few steps were tough, but I’m happy to say that I’ve made more friends than I’ve had here in a year. never imagined.
As long as we work remotely behind the screens, it will be tough to make any of us feel truly connected each other. That’s true if you started working while everyone was away and you didn’t get to meet anyone in person, or you’re too old and your current work friends have left you for new gigs. The only real solution is to do something that everyone hates: get out there and talk to people.
Ask them to join you in a video call to talk about what you’re working on and their interests. Suggest a virtual coffee or virtual drink after work. (Or ice cream for those who don’t drink. My friend Karen Ho, a sustainability reporter here Insider, that taught me!) Make plans to move on after a large project is completed, e.g. And keep going! Book a 15-minute coffee break on your calendar so no one forgets, and get ready to move on today (or themselves) if you don’t feel like it.
Not all overtures should come as a calendar appointment. Join in the threads when someone in Slack or Discord says something funny. When a colleague shares photos of Slack’s cats, share your wonderful photos. All companies (trust me, all companies) Has Slack channels for jokes, memes, snack alerts, or sharing stories and gossip. Immerse yourself and share! It will feel awkward at first, but the more you do it, the more people will respond in front of you and the more you will feel what your colleagues resonate with and what they don’t. Follow your colleagues on Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok (if you feel safe doing so) and interact with them to gently let them know that you appreciate their presence. Join them on a human level, not trying to network with colleagues.
I know, really open up a little bit and talk to people? Raw. I’d rather have an easier answer that would allow me to sit on my ass and come with respect and validation without having to be really vulnerable or stumble upon my awkward social anxiety. A) but we don’t always get what we want, and b) you’re asking a question that many of us have trouble answering even in the best of times, even before “social distances” are the thing.
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