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4 tips for sending (and receiving) better texts

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Text messages are common, easy, and ubiquitous. After all, it’s an easy way to follow up with friends and family (and according to the wireless plan, it’s probably free). According to Research by the Pew Research Center on technology and the Internet, “Text messaging is the most common non-voice application that Americans use on their mobile phones. 73% of adult cell owners “send or receive at least 42 messages a day on average, with the most realistic average being 10 texts a day.

So if you send the text, you can write it well. You can already do it and roll your eyes at the idea of ​​“tips for sending messages” or maybe keep it short because you don’t know how your texts will be read. Okay, your texts can affect your relationship. examination Doctors at the University of California, Berkeley, confirmed that receiving and sending text messages can increase your feelings of happiness and well-being because you are sure to be connected to someone you want to talk to.

Texts can make us to feel, and we all know that wrong times or exclamation marks can change the meaning of a message, and even if you send hundreds a day and do it all the time, these tips can be helpful.

There are no rules, be yourself

While there are many “do’s and don’ts” of text messages, note that there are no real rules. Some might want to, but they don’t. This guide to sending messages It deals with the basics – write clearly, be yourself, be direct, check the double text, follow if you don’t listen, be careful spelling and dictating, write the words – don’t emojis and respond immediately.

Dr. Leora Trub, a psychologist at Pace University, says that if her clients have trouble sending messages, she asks them to consider their needs and the needs of the person sending the message. It won’t dictate the rules of text messaging, so you’re spending less time worrying about what you’re doing is “right” or “wrong” and more time to have fun communicating. That’s your first step.

You want to keep that in mind as you type. According to Trub, “Mindful Texting” means that a person does it from the perspective of their needs and wants, while being empathetic to the person they are communicating with. This style is more straightforward, with clearer, more honest and open messages. Trube says that “having a vision and mind when sending texts, texts are not like texts and they are like conversations.”

Continue on to lighter topics

Trub recommends that it is best to write about lighter topics. Heather Silvestri, a New York psychologist, Ph.D., agrees. “Text is good for light text and provides logistical information. More difficult and cumbersome conversations need to be done face-to-face or over the phone. ”

In an article in the journal Psychology Today, Psychologist Jennifer Gilbert, Ph.D., wrote that “light topics need to be kept up. It’s hard to write long, detailed conversations about the text and a lot of subtlety is lost.” There is no trace of personal communication through text, so it’s easy to misinterpret messages. That’s why it’s best to share simple, straightforward information, such as logistical details and / or funny emojis, and clear text messages.

Gilbert also understands that texts can be difficult for anyone, especially if you don’t prefer your mode of communication. In the same article, he writes: “It’s not the same as previous conversations, because there are a lot of signs in the text that you would get in real life. There are big gaps, people can be away and don’t respond quickly and you can’t see facial expressions or body language.”

If you are unsure, reflect your recipient

Dr. Silvestri has a sure way to know that you are sending the right messages. “Mirror the text styles of the person you are sending the message to.” He adds: “If you always write with simple lines or ‘k’ with those you write, you should reflect their short, concise communication styles.”

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