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Earlier this month, eight-year-old Anton was making a wish list for his vacation. “A little basketball,” he wrote carefully. “And a diamond necklace that writes ‘legend’.” Of course, these things are undeniable fresh, but as a parent, I want to help my children grow in gratitude and generosity and commitment to our community throughout the year and especially during the holidays. So! I talked to three wonderful parents / experts, and here’s what they said …
1. Giving can start small.
Children can start to be kind and generous with the people around them. “There are so many ways to give,” says my friend Ek, the parents of two boys in Manhattan. “You can think of climate change as anything macro, or a child sitting alone on the bus, instant.” More ideas: Take care of your neighbor’s dog if they go out of town; jump in at a relative’s house to clean the dinner table; take your grandmother’s suitcase to the bedroom when she visits; invite a new child to school to play in the park.
2. Consider volunteering with local organizations.
If you are unsure where to start, please visit Just Serve for volunteer projects. Whether it’s religious or not, churches are another way to find volunteer opportunities. For example, Hope for New York Explains how to help in different ways so that you can choose a cause that you support. There is also a bulletin called Welcome Together with opportunities to help the family.
L., the parents of three children living in Brooklyn, recommends: “At CHIPS, you can leave pre-packaged meals for children to help you assemble. Ruth’s shelter It is a non-profit for refugees. And Arab-American Family Support Center has a variety of face-to-face support, including tutoring an English student; many women never have the opportunity to learn English like their husbands who study at work or children who study at school, which can leave them isolated and unable to do so. to defend themselves, their families, and so on. ” (Readers please add other ideas in the comments!)
3. Be invisible.
Emphasize that volunteering is a way for your children to be part of their community, rather than an extracurricular activity created for them. “I tell my kids,‘ Let’s be invisible hands, ’” says E. “When we volunteer, we’re going to do everything we can. Sometimes it’s just a matter of dropping boxes for two hours.” And keep participating, learning, and growing. ” .
4. Find the causes that you think are most significant.
Think about the issues that your loved ones are close to your heart and love. “During the pandemic, my sons were hearing about Asian hatred and attacks on the elderly,” E. says of his family. Heart of Dinner, which provides care packages and food to NYC East Asian seniors. Volunteers of all ages have the opportunity to decorate bags and write cards for customers.
As a family, you can also select a couple of topics to focus on each year. “This year, our family has focused on food insecurity and has been donating to our premises community refrigerator”Says the activist and mother Brooke Williams. “It’s very much about helping the neighbors.”
5. Consider your child’s special skills.
My boys just love arranging lemonade stalls – Toby is especially a salesman! “So.” they have made a sale of pastries To raise money for causes like ACLU, RAICES and ocean clearing. Other children may be looking at art. “My young son loves making small cards for everyone he knows,” says E., and in his forties, he helped to channel that enthusiasm into helping others. “We were thinking about how our older neighbors couldn’t get out on the streets. Is there a way to encourage them? We have made tickets for those who receive meals We deliver the love of God, and neighbors of the Bailey-Holt House. I was really moved by their notes. ”
6. Find helpers.
Remember how Fred Rogers ’mother told him look for helpers? Showing children how to work for the betterment of the world can help calm and encourage them. “Kids know the world is pretty broken; they are not naive, ”says E.“ I say to my boys: ‘You see, there are these little paradises all over the city, and people who are working and using their creativity, imagination and skills to help. to lighten someone’s burden a little? ‘ Being able to show my kids waking up at 7am every Saturday and frying their eggs or handing out warm meals … it’s gratifying to see the people of the city come together, and we can unite. small roads. ‘
7. Encourage children to donate even a small amount.
Younger children can also donate part of their allowance or part of their birthday money to the causes they are interested in. When researching organizations, consider going to the website Solidarity browser, which values thousands of charities. Also, my friend Scott Thomas runs Tree Brothers, A non-profit veterinarian working in and around New York City. they publish a children’s guide every year, which I found very helpful.
You can also include your children as a family if you are able to donate money. “We sit down in December and set a budget for the amount of money we will give to the organizations we care about,” he says. Brooke. “Each of us receives the same amount, including our daughter. We each choose the institutions and talk to each other about why we think they are important. ”
8. Treat everyone around you with love.
Especially how to spread the pattern to your child throughout the day. “This morning, we showed up at a COVID testing site,” he says Brooke. “This unsuspecting boy is sitting behind the counter, and they are all in a bad mood. Just being human for him — a smile, thank you, a happy holiday — suddenly changes his whole face. As we expand these small crystals of positivity, the world is getting better. ”
This reflective approach also applies to volunteering. At E.’s family’s volunteer food canteen, the pastor gives a group talk every morning. “It always reminds us that you always have to show love in the simplest things, even if you’re driving someone down a line or crushing a pure apple,” says E. “Remember that you never know what people are going through. So express your love when you give someone a dish or open your garbage bags to make it easier for the next one. People can feel that love. We are all in a community together. We all need help in different ways. All who come are our neighbors. I hope my kids remember that. Serve people with honor. ”
How do you teach your children how to give and help? Encourage yourself to start small, he says Brooke: “If everyone does a little bit, it’s a deep amount.”
PS How to raise genuine children, and 12 readers comments on kindness.
(Printing available above here.)
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