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Losing a loved one is part of the journey of a lifetime. However, it is not easy to deal with the grief that comes with the waves, especially when an outing occurs in an unnatural way.
Data ‘Ir he would know that first hand. She lost her eldest daughter, Diyana Zuraimi, in a tragic event in August 2021.
Friends and relatives were in a state of distress, and although peers would come to take care of the mourning, not everyone knew how to properly accept it.
To deal with this, Datu ‘Ir joined a group of close relatives to focus on building a non-profit organization to remember who her daughter was.
Named Dee Hati Center for Grief, Beavement and Trauma (DHGBAT, or simply “center of mourning”), where people who suffer loss can come to a supportive environment to process their emotions.
Locating a foreign concept
DHGBAT is inspired by mourning centers found in other countries such as Australia, Canada and Singapore. Unable to find such a facility in Malaysia, Datu ‘Ir decided to start its own land in Sarawakia.
His decision was reinforced by Dr. Hazli Zakaria, the current president of the Malaysian Psychiatric Association, who has been trying to establish a similar concept in the country for years.
While the center of grief is undergoing its incorporation process, the Sarawak state government has already given them permission to use a building near the Kuching Reservoir Park. It will be the base of operations for a group of 15 people.
A healthier way to deal with it
Currently under construction, the mourning center is expected to be a place to introduce visitors and receive a mourning counseling session with trained members of the center. They can also take a walk in the local garden to mourn, or take part in activities such as painting and gardening.
Nazwan, the director of the mourning center and a close friend of Diana’s childhood, explained that the idea behind these activities is a way to help channel grief.
“Sometimes they deal with their grief by channeling it through various ways they want to remember the deceased,” he told the Vulcan Post.
“A good example would be the formation of this center, we chose to focus on helping others to honor and remember our lost. For others, it could be painting or gardening. ”
Although most mourners will eventually reach the acceptance phase (out of the five phases of mourning), there is still a small minority who may experience complicated grief, Nazwan explained.
Complicated grief is when a person’s feelings of loss weaken and do not improve even after a long time. This in turn can lead to functional impairment, depression, comorbidity, or other anxiety disorders.
Therefore, the supportive atmosphere and activities offered at the center are intended to divert mourning from a difficult path.
Normalize grief support
The dead are welcomed to the mourning center for help from the center’s volunteers (members). However, some activities may have some minimal costs, depending on demand.
Members access DHGBAT via their registration link on their Instagram page. To date, the group has received around 340 interested people from all over Malaysia. Outside the pool, the center will receive 20 members to begin with, and 4-5 applicants will become full-time employees.
Although the form questions whether potential members have a background in psychology or counseling, Nazwan clarified that those who offer mourning support do not need a degree or diploma in the subject.
This is because knowing how to say the right words or listen to those who want to speak can be as easy as saying goodbye.
At the start of operations, the DHGBAT has planned activities for its members and the general public to conduct mourning support training and Psychological First Aid Training (PFA). That is, to better supply and normalize the ability to help the dead and those who suffer trauma.
In collaboration with Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS), they are working on a Grief Support Training Module and a PFA Module. These programs will allow the center to provide basic certifications to those who have received training.
“We hope that the search for these skills in the future will be like first aid and CPR. Public mourning support could be provided by any member, not just mental health professionals,” Nazwan added.
The stigma is challenging
One of the challenges I face when setting up a mourning center is the stigma of the public, who may think that mental health services are only for the sick.
“On the one hand, mourning is not a mental problem,” Nazwan replied. “It’s a natural process of mourning that everyone will experience with the loss of a loved one.”
He also affirmed that being upset is not a disease, nor is DHGBAT a mental health organization.
[The centre] it is a place for the dead [visit] and they heal themselves for the loss of a loved one in their sorrow and grief. It is not a place for “healing,” but a place where their mourning can be acknowledged and cared for by supportive and empathetic volunteers.
Nazwan, CEO of Dee Hati Center For Grief, Beavement and Trauma
The Mourning Center team aims to change the public’s perception by educating them on the importance of healthy mourning through lectures, events, and other activities.
Part of the outreach strategies is through affiliated members who have multiple ties to hospital, clinic, or community leaders who can channel those in mourning to the center.
As the DHGBAT is a non-profit organization, it will be fully funded through charitable fundraising events and donations. Based on the commitments received so far, the group plans to raise funds within five figures.
When the mourning center is up and running, it will first be open to the public who can physically visit the Sarawak center. Of course, the team hopes to expand its physical reach nationwide, opening more centers in various centers in the future.
Online support will also be available later, with DHGBAT members providing services as and when they become available. So far, Nazwan has said that a web developer recently joined the team to design a website for the center.
- Learn more about Dee Hati Center For Grief, Beavement And Trauma here.
- Read about other Malaysian startups here.
Featured Image Credit: Dee Hati Center For Grief, Beavement And Trauma
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