Top 22 questions to ask when you want to break the ice – Wired PR Lifestyle Story
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I was accepted into a leadership training program earlier this year Coercive Training Institute (CTI) and has increased my skills as a business trainer and tutor, as well as a better questioner and listener. So much so that at a recent dinner with some girlfriends, one said: “You’re thinking of things that no one has ever asked me.” He was about to quit his nice job all the time and want to bow to brand advice, but since he was questioning himself, I asked him two strong questions, “What if you leave or stay in line” and “How do you know when you’re ready?” It was a beautiful moment and one that we could all relate to at the table as we put ourselves in new ways for new jobs, motherhood, relationships — and anyone who is really reading.
It made me think about how we connect to the network (whether it’s a virtual or formal connection or just meeting at a friend’s house) and how we can ask for more thoughtful questions in the face of what was expected to create relationships “so what do you do for a living?” questions.
When I worked at SXSW a few years ago, we organized meetings all over the US to find out about the community and what excitement they had. Speaking to hundreds of humans in a calendar year reminded me of three things: everyone has a story; everyone wants to see it; and if you want to build trust, start really being curious.
I have found that there is real art to getting to know someone better. So to help you along the way, I share some of the questions I like when I meet someone new to avoid the superficial moments of cheese and get straight into real conversation.
- What brought you here tonight?
- How do you know the host?
- What are you excited about right now?
- What do you expect this week?
- What challenges do you face at work today?
- Where do you find inspiration?
- What is a day like in your role?
- Which organization or brand is fun to see at the moment?
- How do you spend your time outside of work?
- What’s the newest concept or idea you’ve recently discovered?
- Which is your favorite person you want to follow on social media (or a listening podcast)
- Who will you meet tonight?
- What are your favorite organizing tools?
- Which app do you use the most?
- What makes (name it) unique?
- What are you proud of right now?
It might be different to start the conversation with “Hey, I’m ____, I want to know more about you, what brought you here tonight?” but I’m sure finding out who their answers are will give you a lot more “How are you?” It’s hard to tell a stranger how stressful our day was.
Once I had a friend who organized an event and instead introduced me as “This is Kelly, who works at SXSW”, she shared “This is Kelly …” with fun data about one of my hobbies. It was very nice and I also took something when I played host.
This self-exploration fascinated me. That’s why I’ve listed some of my favorite people who are usually members of the online network to share the questions they always ask when they want to get to know someone better. Here is what they shared:
- What tips or insights would you share with your 16-year-old self? – Siraad Dirshe, Producer and Storyteller
- How can I help you right now? – Jane Ko, A Taste of Coconut, founder of the Austin Food & Travel Blog
- What is the rest like for you? – Shauntavia Ward, Founder of EleMINT Skin
- What has been the most enjoyable and stressful phase of your life? – This is Pinkston, Founder of La Paloma
- What’s your nickname? (There are strange stories in the background about how they got it or didn’t get any.) – Melissa Farrar, Director of Communications, Fairmont
- What other careers did you consider or consider before choosing this one, and why did you reject it? – Jessica Sanam Hekmat, Brand strategist
As I have learned through my training, the best questions are open-ended and always come from a place of curiosity and inquiries, and of course leave room — albeit an uncomfortable number — for others to think about. and experiences.
Everyone wants to see and hear and in my experience strong questions show that you are interested and interesting, and these are relationships that tend to become something beautiful over time.
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